On Being Spoiled & Mothers

My mother and I have gone through our periods of not liking one another all that much.  Nothing truly awful; my long period of being a moody and depressed teen, her discovery that I was 5 figures in debt at the age of 22, catching me high on cocaine and cutting me off, etc etc etc….

When I was younger I simply thought my mom had a stick up her ass.  She was (still is) totally Patty from My So Called Life.  Exactly like her.  She even looks like her, except with brown hair.  She was always the strictest mom, and she always seemed to be so disappointed in me.

As I’ve grown up we’ve morphed into great friends.  She’s a lot more light-hearted than when I was younger.  Even though I am my Father’s Daughter (we are incredibly alike), she is the one who is more empathic when I am struggling.

I’m totally spoiled.  Always have been, though not necessarily with “stuff.”  I’ve been spoiled with time and attention (although not so much that I turned into a monster).  I just have cool and loving parents.  And I thank my lucky stars every day.

I met up with my mom this morning to hit the farmer’s market.  As we poked around the bok choy and drank our coffees, she asked me how my finances were doing.  I hadn’t planned on telling her about my overdraft drama, but since she asked, I spilled the beans.  This is nothing new for her, she’s seen it all with me.  She took me straight to the bank and asked me how much I needed.  I guessed 80.  She gave me $120.

I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I felt as I deposited that money into my account, knowing that it would post straight-away and I would not be charged more overdrafts.

“If you find yourself in trouble, talk to us, don’t ignore the problem,” she told me.

I wish I could share this blog with her, but I cannot just yet.  I have no desire for anyone to know the current state of my finances, although I do have a few “real life” friends who are reading the blog.  But I do want to send out a big “I love you mom” into the Internet wilderness.

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4 Responses to “On Being Spoiled & Mothers”

  1. MadrasSoup Says:

    I’m really loving this blog, Penny. We’re the same age and in similar positions as far as income, debt ratios, and love of wine and cooking, so I’m always interested in your updates. This one was especially good, since I’ve had similar kinds of money conversations with (and bailouts from) my own mom. Most of my close friends make more than twice as much as me and tend to support their own parents, so it’s hard to share these kinds of financial woes with them, which is why I really appreciate your honesty here.

  2. lizbang Says:

    I came here to say what MadrasSoup said. Thank you for taking the time to keep up with this blog and sharing the things you’re learning.

  3. pennyplastic Says:

    I’m very flattered. Thank you both.

  4. Britni Says:

    That is awesome. My mother is the same way. I was hiding my debt from her, but I live at home and she eventually opened one of the bills. She was more upset that I had lied to her than she was about the debt. She always tells me that she can’t help me if I keep things from her.

    I’m currently unemployed and she is paying my minimums on my credit cards each month for me until I am able to make payments myself. I love my mother.

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